The girly boy and the fatass: The musical
by Azu Insanity Daee
Summary: Riley Chandler is a boy who likes to dress, looks like, and sounds like a girl. Due Baron Trump falling in love with him, he has to escape to South Park in order to protect the fact that he is a boy. How will he survive when he is rich, polite and sweet? Will anyone find out his secret?


Darkness….The streets of Washington D.C. were covered by the shadows not reached by the moonlight. In a mansion filled with silver and porcelain were a father and his child. These people were known as the Chandler's, they lived off fortune they got from selling engagement rings and doing charity. Yet, today….today was one of the few times this small family was trembling in fear.

Christopher Chandler was worried for his hair. The blond wavy haired child stared back at him with big blue eyes, trench coat wrapped securely around him as the butlers took everything to their fancy black car. Riley Chandler, at only nine years old, did not understand why Christopher was so terrified. That was until the man grabbed his shoulders.

"My dear Riley…my precious treasure. You have to leave"

"But father! Why?! What is going on? What about you?"

"I will be fine Riley, I promise…but you have to escape before Trump finds out that Baron is gay for you."

"You mean…?"

"Yes, Baron Trump is in love with you and knows you are a boy. You need to leave before Donald Trump finds you my dear…"

"Where am I going daddy?"

"South Park, Colorado…nobody will know who you are. Nobody will search for you there. Goodbye! I will send you an allowance!"

That was the end of it. Or at least, the end of Riley's life in D.C.

As soon as the wealthy child got out of the car, along with his butler, he started to sing with a gentle smile.

"Little town,

It's a quiet mountain

All you see

Is covered in snow

Little town

Full of queer people

Came up to say:"

As in que, everyone in town jumped into the song. Never had they ever been so friendly.

"Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!"

His gaze landed on the hunter wearing a cap and a vest. in his hands there was a beer bottle and a rifle. It was so stereotypical, Riley could only wonder if he had just fallen into one of his story books.

"There goes a redneck with his beer bottle

The same old stereotype from books

Everything is just the same

Like the stories I have read

Of this poor provincial town"

"Good Mornin', girly!" called the man he had been singing about.

"Good morning, Mister." Was the blonde's polite answer, his butler seemed too busy in a phone call. Then again, he was a demon, he would know if there was something wrong.

"Jimbo, call me Jimbo. Are you new 'round here?"Asked the male as he prepared some things for his food stand

"Why, yes I am! I just wondered if you knew where this address was!" said Riley with a smile as he handed the paper to the man.

"It's over there missy! Good luck! I gotta work!" pointed out Jimbo to the two newcomers.

"Look there she goes that girl is new, no question

Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?" sang the town.

"She ain't part of any crowd" Mrs. McCormick added, staring at the new child.

"Looks like her brain is on some cloud" Remarked Gerald Broflovski

"No denying that's a funny child that girl"sang the others.

"Hello!" called Mr. Garrison

"Good day!" Answered Liane Cartman sweetly.

"How is Eric?"Asked the teacher.

"Oh hi there!" Katelyn Jenner said to Mr. Slave, one of her newest friends.

"Good day!"he answered.

"How is your man?"asked the transgender to her gay bff.

"I need six buns!" Screamed Sheila Broflovski, that was…until she saw the price "That's too expensive!"

"I must learn more of this provincial life!" sang Riley above all the noisy voices of the town.

"Miss Riley." Said Sebastian Michaelis politely to his master.

"What do you need Sebastian? Will Alfred arrive soon?" asked the boy, dressed like a girl.

"I was told he shall come as soon as Bruce lets him free."answered the demon butler.

"Oh, thank you."said Riley with a calm smile "Could you bring me my favorite book?"

"Bloody Bruno?" Sebastian did not understand why his master loved those books. Then again, he dressed like a girl voluntarily…contrary to Riley's real servant and true master of Sebastian: Ciel Phantomhive.

"Yes! Exactly! Thank you!" he answered, jumping slightly and letting his wavy hair bounce.

"Are you sure miss? You've read it a hundred times" It was true…Sebastian and Alfred had counted them.

"Well, it's my favorite!" Was the careless response Riley gave to his butler. "Young romances, daring fights, magic spells, a cannibal in disguise-"

"Very well…" said the demon, handing the black book to his young master "now, be careful while you walk with it."

"Thank you!"

"I shall prepare dinner, try not to wander too much." Was his goodbye, knowing the young boy was not going to get lost. Or kidnapped. He wasn't at all like his other master.

"I promise! Thank you very much!"

"Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar

I wonder if she's single now?

With a dreamy, far-off look

Who is that girl with that book?

Wonder were that girl came from?" gossiped villagers.

"Oh, isn't this amazing?

It's my fav'rite part because - you'll see

Here's where he meets Prince Charming

And he'll think he is annoying

'Til chapter three!" sang Riley to herself. Usually this was her way to not feel alone.

"Now it's no wonder that that the town gossips

Her looks have got no parallel" Sharon remarked to her husband

"But behind that fair facade

I'm afraid she's rather off" Randy added.

"Very diff'rent from the rest of us" Shelly on her side cringed at the girl

"She's nothing like the rest of us

Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is that girl!" all of South Park sang at the same time.

Meanwhile, four boys were together playing with snow and arguing.

"Dammit fatass! Stop calling my mom a bitch!" Yelled Kyle Broflovski to his chubby friend.

"Shut up you jew! She is a big fat bitch!"Eric Cartman answered back to the green hatted boy.

"Shut up asshole!"

"Guys…" interrupted Stan Marsh "Who the hell is that?"

All the boys, except Eric, turned towards where the blue hatted kid was pointing to.

"Mmmfn fnmm" was the muffled response of the orange jacket boy.

"I dunno either!" added Kyle, somehow, able to understand what his friend: Kenny, had said.

"Maybe it's a normal ordinary bi-" started Cartman, until he turned towards the girl reading her black book. "Oh my god guys…that one is mine!"

"The new girl nobody knows?" questioned Stan confused.

"She would never be yours Fat ass!" yelled Kyle

"Shut up! You are just jealous that you are the ugliest kid in school!" answered Cartaman.

"Hey! We already found out it was a fake!" Stan tried to help.

"Yea! Shut it fat ass!" Kyle was thankful his best friend came to his defense.

"Mmm ffnn!"added Kenny.

"You guys are assholes" Insulted Cartman before he started his song.

"See…Right from the moment when I saw her

I said that bitch is gorgeous and I fell

Here in shithole there's only she

Who I want to be with me

So I'm making plans to make her mine!"

Meanwhile the girls admired the newcomer.

"Look there

She goes

Isn't she queer?

That skirt! Those shoes!

Oh they're so cool!

Be still my heart

I'm hardly blinking

She's such a wealthy, lucky, weird girl!"

"Hello!" said Liane to her son.

"Fuck off!" growled Cartman pushing his mother away in order to reach the girl.

"Good day!" Riley said to those she passed by.

"Fat ass!" Kyle yelled after his fat friend.

"Dude! This is creepy!" Commented Stan.

"Butters you're grounded!" exclaimed Linda.

"Salty balls!" announced a merchant.

"Pay up!" told Craig to his sister who had lost a bet.

"Shut up!" growled Trisha.

"Fuck off!" Yelled Cartman pushing the siblings.

"I'll get your balls"said merchant to his clients.

"Bitch! let me through!" Pushed young Eric Cartman through the crowd of women.

"These balls –" commented Liane.

"The salt –" claimed Sheila.

"are stale!"

"It's too much!"

"She's mistaken." Claimed the men.

"Well, maybe so" women seemed convinced for a second.

"Hello!"

"Oh, Hi!"

"There must be more to my wealthy life!" sang Riley twirling around streets.

"Just watch, I'm going to make her my wife!" claimed Cartman to his friends, who just groaned in disbelief.

"Look there she goes

The girl is strange but special

A most peculiar wealthy child!" sang the whole town.

"It's a pity and a sin" women sung.

"She doesn't quite fit in" added the men.

"'Cause she really is a funny child

A beauty but a funny girl

A rich but a weird child

That girl!" Song the whole town. And suddenly….the song ended.

It was one of those strange moments…it had been so long since the last time they had done something like this. And to their horror they knew: They were stuck in another cheesy musical.

Riley went back to her new home, just like his butler had instructed. Honestly, there wasn't much to see in this place, but it still the blonde found it interesting how stereotypical South Park was. The perfect cookie-cutter provincial town on the mountains of snowy Colorado.

Entering the huge mansion, Riley let his nose guide him to the table. There they were, three males, one being Sebastian Michaelis. He was the demon butler with ruby red eyes, pale skin and black hair as well as outfit. To his right, was the head butler, an elderly man named Alfred. He never mentioned his last name, perhaps to protect himself and his other master. And last, but not least was a young teen with slate colored hair and different colored eyes. One purple the other deep blue. Ciel Phantomhive dressed like a noble, all though he was supposed to be one, he was still in charge of taking care of Riley. After all the Chandlers had made a deal with Ciel, to have him and his butler protect their family for the rest of eternity.

They all greeted him with polite smiles. Ciel just took out a chair for his master to sit on. Meanwhile Alfred and Sebastian served the food and drinks. Riley smiled and thanked them.

"This town is beautiful!" the blonde commented as he ate his food.

"I must admit, it is quite comfy" added Sebastian.

"It reminds me of home…"mumbled Ciel with a distant look on his face.

"England? Do you miss it there Ciel?" asked Riley to her caretaker.

"Hmmm I might be nostalgic about it. But no, I do not particularly miss it young mistress" said the slate haired demon.

"I see…When will I see father again?"

"We do hope soon young mistress" said Alfred with a calm smile, trying to treat his master in a way to avoid him from worrying.

"Oh…I wish he came here soon. It's lonely…"

"Do not worry mistress, soon you shall go to school" said Sebastian.

The child immediately jumped from his seat with a marveled look on his face.

"School?! I will go to a new school?! With no rich children?! That's wondrous! Oh! Ciel! Sebastian! Alfred! You need to help me get ready to go there! My books! Utensils! Backpack! Outfits! Oh my! I need to review the rules!"

The three servants laughed fondly at their master, knowing well how isolated he had been all his life. Little did they know. South Park had more things than it seemed.


End file.
